Last night I was at a movie (on a Monday! I know! It was great--the movie was good too) and I stopped to use the Loo before entering the theater. I looked around, picked a stall that was number one-empty (that's always a good idea) and number two (no pun intended)-was not next to anyone else sitting on a throne. Well...evidently step two is not in everyone's copy of the bathroom book. A person (you'll understand in a minute why I cannot call her a lady) sits down RIGHT NEXT TO ME and then proceeds to relieve herself of enough ethanol to power the next space shuttle. I hardly had my pants back on before I was running out of the stall (I did pause long enough to check the foot ware next door incase I needed to do some glaring later). As I am washing my hands I see (in my grand peripheral vision) someone rush into the bathroom and right into my vacated stall. I'm thinking "What is with these people? 20 empty stalls and they sit next to the only occupied one?" Didn't the woman rushing in see the fumes funneling around the door? Maybe, I thought, it was part of one of those foot tapping games...until the smoke cleared and I could think clearly and knew that was a man thing--then I thought "Oh no, am I in the men's room?"
So I cleverly snuck a peek at the shoes under the second door and boy was I glad I had already emptied my bladder cuz what I saw was a cute little pair of black sneakers...covering my sister's feet. I'll have to make sure she gets a copy of my new pamphlet "Don't piss me off: a guide to bathroom etiqette."