How much does it cost to buy a green thumb?

I check my thumbs every year about this time for signs of green--nope, nothing, still not a tinge of the good old leprechaun skin anywhere (do you think the Irish are better gardeners?).  

You would think I'd have some green in my blood--my Grandfather's gardens are so lush that they spread and practically take over the house.  During the summer, you can almost make him out sitting in the middle of the path somewhere beneath all the greenery and blooms--although the cigar smoke is usually a give away. 

You might be thinking that the green skips a generation, but you'd be wrong.  My mother has Hawaiian plants growing at her house (yes in Minnesota) all year long--now that's just not right.  And if my sister is not careful her spreading gardens may just swallow up her dog--who would indeed make a cute statue.

It's not that I don't want cute plants in my house or lush gardens in my yard, I am just convinced that my green thumb gene is missing--it happens...I studied the brain last year.  Well, they never actually talked about that specific gene, but I know it's there--or in my case MIA.    

My gardens outside do rather well--even the rose bushes that are supposed to be so "touchy", but I attribute that to the fact that it rains quite a bit here in my home town (especially on the days that I have planned to go to the beach or have an outside lunch date).  They are also all perennials which must mean they have to be able to survive in nature with out much help from the white thumbed girl who pretends to nurture them.

As for anything living inside my house--it must have legs--I am quite good at caring for things that are capable of moving on their own (including spiders and the occasional mouse).  The only living green things in my house are in the refrigerator and they are not supposed to be there!

Who knew about the green thumb club??  Perhaps you have all known about it and have decided to sit back and watch me suffer--Ha!  Well, the secret is out and I just may join--wait...I wonder what the prerequisites are?  I may have to use an alias...hmmm...how 'bout "Must have legs"?

So for those of you who feel the need to burden me...I mean...honor me with green things for my home, I will paint my thumbs green and make friends with my new blooms, but fair warning--the paint usually washes off in the shower.