Halloween Advice.

Advice for those of you that travel to neighborhoods or go far distances from home on foot. Remember this: use the bathroom before you leave and do not consume huge volumes of liquid while out trick-or-treating. We had made it about half way around our loop when I realized that the industrial sized drink that the Big Guy brought for me (and I had consumed the entire thing) had gone straight through me. Thank goodness we had hit a patch of homes at a dark intersection where no one was home...or perhaps they were just hiding inside with the lights off watching all the crazies go by. Regardless, I found a bush by a dark fence and dropped trou. Yes, it was that bad and I had to...really I did. I started to freak when a car was coming around the corner right at me, but the Big Guy assured me I was fine...he was looking the other way. I yanked my pants up and ran out into the street. The Wild Ones came running from across the street and the little one asked me what I was doing in the bushes. I tried to change the subject, but his voice just got louder. 

Devil: "Were you peeing in the bushes?" 

Old Lady:  "Me? Nooo. I thought someone dropped something in there." 

Devil:  "No you were peeing, I could see you."

Old Lady:  (Glaring at the Big Guy) "Hey is that a vampire behind that tree?"

The devil just rolled his eyes at me and ran off to investigate. So the next time you plan on trick-or-treating far away from home don't let anyone give you a cauldron of liquid to drink along the way and if you see anyone in the bushes just assume they dropped some candy and keep on walking.