Why, why, why???

Why is it that every time I turn around there is more junk, stuff, shit all over my house? When the Wild Ones leave for school and the Big Guy drags his butt off to work the house usually looks pretty good (in part because I have been up since 5:45 making it that way...no resentment in my voice...I promise...kind of). But by 8:00 pm it looks like someone has unleashed a herd of invisible elves that drag in every kind of dirt, sand, grass clippings and lint they have stored up for at least 6 months. They also litter my counters with piles of colored papers that are supposed to be important...it's just that there are too many to even make it to the bottom before more reappear. They also create spots on shirts and smudges of tooth paste all over the sinks and weird marks on the surfaces of anything shiny including windows, mirrors and counters...I think they may be licking things. They scatter crumbs and throw about shoes, underwear and dirty socks. It happens everyday. I think I have it figured out. It won't fix my problem, but it may help someone else. Abstinance...don't have sex...it creates invisible elves that wreak havoc in your life. Yep, I am pretty sure that is it. I will have to put the Wild Ones and the Big Guy on the alert...perhaps we could capture these creatures and put order back into my once simple life.