Did You Get the Warning?

People warn you not to feed your dog "people food," but they don't usually explain why. Which is part of the reason it doesn't seem so bad to do. We have always given the Rotten Dog a few scraps and treats here and there (mostly carbs and proteins in his dog bowl...never from the table and never from a "people plate") kind of hard not to when he looks at us with those big dark eyes. So the other day when there was a small dish of pasta left on the table after dinner...naturally I scraped it into the dog bowl. Within an hour I was cursing those people who never told me why. The smell emanating from the back end of that dog (not to mention the noise, which was comical until the Wild Ones started insisting it was me) was worse than day old vomit (you know the kind you find on a blanket that the Big Guy missed in the middle of the night when cleaning up after a sick Wild One). I tried to get away, but Rotten very quietly placed himself under my feet every time I moved and I didn't notice him...until I nearly passed out from the invisible gas permeating my nostrils. When I came to, I pledged to change the "warning" to include an explanation...and a clothes pin for your nose.