Would You Like a Pillow With That?

I was finally sleeping last night when a strange noise right by my head kept waking me up. It was kind of like a knocking, but more like fingernails scratching. I was afraid to open my eyes...but also afraid not to. I turned over and peeked and all I could see was black...and then I realized I was looking at the Rotten Dog. Although I was no longer sleeping, he was sawing logs-chasing demons or a cute little Terrier through dreamland and hitting my door with his nails every time he moved. I was almost too tired to move, but I made myself get up and all I could do was throw a huge stuffed yellow dog between Rotten and the door. Yes, I know now in the daylight with caffein buzzing through my veins that I should have just made him move...but, I did not know that at 2 am. So I crawled back in bed, covered my head with my fuzzy blanket, then realized he was standing over me sniffing my head. You see Rotten follows me every where (more on why another day) and I guess he thought I might be headed...oh I don't know...perhaps to the kitchen to make him some prime rib...at 2 am! When he realized I wasn't  going anywhere (not even back to sleep with hot dog breath hitting my nose) he walked around and found a new place to sleep. Unfortunately he curled up on a plastic bag...which ruffled every time he breathed. By this time it was after 3 am and I was not only tired, but awake enough to be pissed. I got up and walked into the hallway (pretending I was on my way to the kitchen to see about that prime rib) and as soon as he trotted off I pushed the door so it was just open a crack (so I could still hear the Wild Ones if they needed any prime rib) and threw the stuffed dog behind it. Rotten was on to me by then and was back sniffing at the door...and whining to come in. I stopped breathing so that he wouldn't know I was in there (yes, if it had been daylight, caffein, etc I would have realized he could still smell me) and I thought it worked...I could hear him walking away. But just as I was snuggling back in I heard a pounding in the hallway...Rotten was running...toward me. He ran down the hallway and threw himself into the door and right into the room. Then stood over me looking all proud like he had just saved me from the boogie man...waiting for me to thank him. I pushed aside the stuff on the bed and invited him in...to snuggle next to me...better than prime rib any day.